Recollection of a Near Death Experience
by GoingPostale
Summary: He could not be stopped from visiting his mother in Iowa. It had been ten years since he left, bound for Starfleet.


**Title:** Recollection of a Near Death Experience

**Author:** Cait (Broomsticks_and_Medallions)

**Fandom:** Star Trek

**Characters:** James Kirk, Winona Kirk, Leonard "Bones" McCoy, the crew of the Enterprise

**Summary: **He could not be stopped from visiting his mother in Iowa. It had been ten years since he left, bound for Starfleet.

**Word Count:** 2043

**Disclaimer:** Love Star Trek. Don't own it.

**A/N:** So, I was really bored during school and decided I desperately needed to channel some Kirk. And I always wanted to know how he told his mother about Starfleet. Of course, this doesn't make too much sense, but ah well. Lame ending is lame. Sorry.

* * *

It was raining. That should have been enough to tell him that this was a bad idea. However, James Tiberius Kirk was renowned for ignoring the warning signs. It had gained him quite the reputation throughout his life. It had also been the cause of many bruises and cuts. Still, he could not be stopped from visiting his mother in Riverside, Iowa. It had been ten years since he left, bound for Starfleet. Since then, he'd become captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise, no easy feat. She had to know that he was safe, at the very least. Anyone could forge a letter.

Looking out of the overcrowded bar, Kirk caught his eye on a familiar-looking red convertible. Of course it couldn't be the same one. He had sent that hotrod over the edge of a cliff many years before. Still . . . Kirk shook his head as he lifted the shot of bourbon to his lips. There was no way it could be the same car. He had destroyed it. Jim slammed the small glass cup on the bar top and wiped his lips with his sleeve. Liquid courage, that's his cure for cowardice. Actually, it's his cure for anything. The shaking at night, the loneliness in the morning . . . All of it, he fixed with liquor.

He was alone. The Starfleet captain turned his head around the bar which began his career twenty years prior and lamented his isolation. If only he had allowed himself friendship, companionship. True, he had Bones, Spock, Uhura, Sulu, Chekhov, Scotty, and the rest of his crew, but they're his crew now. There are some things you can't share with the people you work with. For Jim Kirk, his family was the one thing he couldn't share with them. Not even Bones.

With one last glance at the chaos of the bar, James T. Kirk walked out, staggering under the weight of his chiseled body. He'd nearly gotten into a fight, like that night ten years ago, purely for the adrenaline. It would take courage to face his mother and was he prepared for that? After all, it was captaining a Starfleet ship which killed his father. It was the exploration of uncharted territory, the need to assist, which led to the death of George Kirk. The loyalty to one's ship which left Jim Kirk fatherless. How could he tell his mother he'd chosen the same path for his own life?

Next to the red convertible was a vintage motorcycle. Jim pulled keys from the pocket of his jeans. He'd never been a fan of wearing regulation clothes when one didn't have to. He removed the helmet from its place on the seat. It was a fond friend of his, that motorcycle. As he pulled the helmet over his head, Kirk's mind flashed to the day he met his closest friend, Leonard McCoy. Rather, Bones. He'd shown up, the day after Jim's bar fight over Uhura, to sign up for Starfleet. He'd driven his motorcycle and run into Bones on their way aboard the ship. "Ex-wife took the whole goddamn planet. All I've got left are my bones." That was how McCoy had come to be known as Bones. Moments later, the ship shot off into space, the dangerous frontier.

He could barely see in the pouring rain. But that had never stopped him before. He mounted the bike, hesitant to leave the fond bar. As he turned the key in the ignition, the motorcycle roared to life, along with his favorite song from his childhood: Sabotage. It was classic. In instants, he was a kid again, racing down the highway while his mother was off-planet. He drove the "convertible", having sent the top flying off. It brought a grin to his face that evening as he pressed his foot on the accelerator.

Speeding off, Kirk recalled the thrill he felt of air whipping around his body. Though he felt droplets of rain cascading down his back, Jim Kirk's mind was elsewhere. It was freefalling beside Hikaru Sulu and Olson in a last-ditch attempt to save Vulcan. They fought side by side with their differing styles: Kirk's hand-to-hand and Sulu's fencing. Kirk fondly recalled as the two fought off Romulans together, though they were so different. They'd lost Chief Engineer Olson early one, but they protected one another. And when Sulu fell, it was Kirk who jumped after him.

As Kirk sped down the highway on his cycle, he fondly remembered how Chekhov had rescued them. Pavel Chekhov . . . still a kid, but working so much harder than so many others. And saving lives. At seventeen, he'd rescued not only his future captain, but also his best friend, Hikaru Sulu. Kirk pressed his foot down on the accelerator, traveling down the highway at 60. . .70. . .80. . .90. . . and up.

There was plenty of time to think as Jim Kirk sped down the road that evening. There was still quite a ways to go and his sole companion was his radio. The one headlight on the motorcycle lit his way through the pouring rain. He wore his old leather jacket over his captain's shirt, disregarding how the water pounded upon the leather.

The gold of his captain's uniform glinted in his mind. It was a privilege that he'd fought for. He had cheated Spock's precious Kobayashi Maru and snuck aboard Pike's Enterprise. He insulted the half-Vulcan until he was nearly killed by the man. They beamed aboard the Romulan ship together, saved Captain Pike together. All of it. Even when Spock marooned Kirk on Delta Vega, they saved each other. More time aboard the ship and they could even be called friends. Kirk and Spock, the captain and his first officer . . . friends.

All of a sudden, there was another set of headlights on the road, swerving toward him. Kirk blinked, turning sharply in order to avoid a collision. Normally, he would have no trouble handling his cycle, but his mind was elsewhere tonight. The motorcycle spun out of control and Kirk was thrown to the ground. He could barely see, reminiscent of his time spent on a table after the bar fight of ten years ago, when he'd first met Nyota Uhura. He'd proved his genius and bought her a drink. Of course, that earned him a beating. Not that it was fair, of course. It was one against four. Kirk chuckled weakly as he thought of her aghast expression when he used big words. She'd always been against him, but remained on the Enterprise crew although he became captain. Didn't that mean something?

He could faintly hear tires screeching and then a woman shouting. Kirk stared blankly at the black sky above him as a light shone down upon him. "George?" The voice was quiet, panicked, but melodious. Jim noticed a harsh intake of air as the body sunk down beside him. "No. . ." she whispered. Her voice cracked. "Jimmy. . ." Sobs began to rock her slender frame as Winona Kirk fell upon her son's limp body. His breathing was weak and his eyes were closed. Winona took his hand in hers and caressed it. "My baby boy . . . please doesn't die on me." Her voice wavered as tears streamed down her face. His hand twitched in hers and she straightened, placing two fingers on Jim's neck to check his heartbeat. "Hang on, James, please. . ." she whispered in his ear.

He no longer heard her twinkling voice. Instead, he was frantically running through snow on Delta Vega. He was in a cave beside an older Spock. He was entering a mechanics' room. There was a Scotsman there, desperate for food. He was brilliant. Suddenly, he and the Scotsman, Scotty that is, were aboard the Enterprise, having beamed onto a moving ship. He had to break Scotty out of the water chamber. It was a fond memory. He slipped back into consciousness, merely to see bright lights before fading out again.

It was all black. He couldn't move. Two familiar faces floated through the empty space in his mind. They were laughing, in love. And alive. Before him were the bodies of George and Winona Kirk. They embraced and suddenly they were slightly older. They cradled a child in their arms. George was able to see his son, shedding a tear for the life they had conceived. He was a boy, riding his bike, with his father watching, eyes full of approval, while his mother watched on from the living room. He was a teenager and they were arguing. He slammed the door, leaving his parents in the dust as he sped off on his mother, his mother collapsing into his father's arms. He was older, mature, saluting his parents as he left for the Starfleet Academy. He was captain of the Enterprise, taking her on a maiden voyage. He was older, feebler, as he watched his parents dying. He was thin and scrawny as he buried them, George and Winona, in a small cemetery near the bar in Iowa. And it was all black.

He awoke, screaming. He was delusional. Lights flashed before his eyes and a familiar voice sang out, "Jimmy!" He breathed heavily and lost track of the sound of her voice. He could hear mumbling, but Kirk could not see who was speaking. "I'm a doctor, damnit, not a magician!" let out a deeper voice. He couldn't hear any more as he drifted into a dreamless sleep, the first time since before he'd returned to Earth.

When James Kirk opened his eyes and saw Bones hovering over him, he heaved a sigh of relief. Luckily for Bones, Winona Kirk had been sent away so that Jim could recuperate. "Where's my mother?" They were quiet words, but Bones heard them. He didn't respond. He merely slid the needle under Jim's skin and the man was silent again. As tears brimmed his eyes, James glared at Bones. "Bring her to me." Bones nodded, but made no motion to move. "Now." It was a growl which sent Leonard McCoy out of the room. Normally, he would have ignored Jim's plea, but it was no longer a plea. It was a demand.

He waited patiently, being held prisoner in a hospital bed. Kirk wondered where they'd taken him as he stared out the window at the stars. There was a chance that he was still on Earth, but he doubted it. Kirk deemed it to be the sick bay of a ship, but remained uncertain as to exactly what ship it was. He was closed off from any others in the medical bay – strictly a patient of Dr. McCoy's. He heard approaching footsteps and turned toward their sound. He could not move much more than his head, for he had sustained formidable injuries from being sent flying off of his motorcycle.

Bones sent Winona in alone, remaining by the door. He would provide his friend medical care, but could not be the psychological care. They were friends, but McCoy knew little about Kirk's family dynamic. And he refused to ruin whatever had caused Kirk to search out his mother during their docking on Earth.

"James, are you alri—"Winona tried to speak to him, but Kirk would have none of it.

He smiled at her. "Quiet, Mom." It hurt to smile: he had bruised his gums, but Jim did it nonetheless. "I was on my way to see you," he laughed. It was ironic that he should be traveling to her when she sends him flying. Winona had always warned him of the danger, but he'd never accepted it as true. He thought he was invincible. "I've got something I need to tell you. . ." His bright eyes sought out hers. Jim chuckled as her eyes watered. "When I left, I was leaving for Starfleet. No, don't talk, just listen," he demanded when she opened her mother to reply. "I aspired to beat Dad's record. I worked to be a captain in three years. Well, I did it."

Her voice was quiet, but proud. "I know."

"You're looking at Captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise." He beamed at his mother as she nodded. "That's what I came to tell you."


End file.
